Living in DC sometimes requires us to make sacrifices. And for me that sacrifice is sunlight and humanity—my life is largely spent living underground in a basement apartment. This arrangement allows me to save rent money and cultivate a fondness for other burrowing creatures (or as I like to think of them, allies).
In this small way, my Batcave life is much like Batman’s, without the cool butler, millions of dollars and nifty gadgets. (Note, that I didn’t list “fighting crime.” I’ll leave that for you to ponder). But, like all classic superhero shows, a crossover episode was bound to happen.
I must preface by stating that the gates around my apartment’s doors are intense. They seemed so impenetrable that I had previously believed my apartment-fortress to be a stronghold in the Bloomingdale community. I would be home alone and hear creepy yelling coming from outside and never even worry.
But then Spiderman came to town. Or at the very least, a human acrobat.
Because seriously, whoever climbed that gate should either be joining the cast of Cirque du Soleil or quitting their day job at The Daily Bugle.
Rough approximation of the gate.
I walked in to discover my television, Kindle, and pretty much anything with an electrical current had been stolen. I’m sure our dog did his best to stop the intruders, but he’s 12 lbs—Cujo he is not.
Home burglary is one of those things that I can’t say was on my Bucket List, but I’m glad I can go ahead and hopefully check it off for life. There is exactly one window in my apartment that doesn’t have bars on it. The property management company told me it didn’t need bars because it was behind the “impenetrable” gate.
According to the DC Metropolitan Police Department, burglary was actually down 7.8% last year. I don’t know how 2012 will ultimately fare in comparison, but my incident will no doubt be included in its total.
In summation, do I think citizens of DC should be overly concerned? No. Do I think people in basement apartments should demand bars on all their windows? Yes.
So even if you are living in a “safe” DC basement apartment with a gate, get your landlord to put the bars on the windows. Or you might just end up writing a blog post full of comic book metaphors in shame.
- An ‘obviously has an older brother that was into superhero stuff’ Lindsay
